Hostess with the Most-ess
I shamelessly skipped last week’s blog so that I could prepare to host my family. I enjoy having guests and hosting friends and family in my home. My family lives out of state and traveling from the east coast to Colorado is expensive, so I am committed to creating the best experience for them when they have the opportunity to come. My sister-in-law, her teenage daughter and my nephew made the long flight from Florida to be here during their spring break. It was my sister-in-law’s and her daughter’s first trip to Colorado. The Floridian’s hoped for snow and time outdoors, and they got exactly what they asked for!
It was a special trip, I was grateful to have time with my sister-in-law to really get to know her, her roots and what brought her to this country many years ago. I find teenagers puzzling, their dramatic and moody one minute and childlike the next. It is great fun to watch their moods change and to see a hint of a smile when you can finally confirm that they are in fact having a good time! And the little ones, boy are they chatty! I received a summary of the entire collection of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books from my nephew over breakfast one morning. It’s also fun for me to see the developmental stages and the likeness between my nieces and nephews alongside my friends’ kids. A few years ago, a close Florida friend came to visit with her three sons, close in age to my nephew and his half-sister. Oh my, the moody conversations and annoying sibling antics could have been an exact match for my family visit! One of my favorite things about having young nieces and nephews around is my own opportunity to remember playing, using my imagination and letting go of cares and worries for just a bit. My niece braved my yoga class, and in turn I braved the sledding hill!
Whenever I prepare to host company there is a deep house cleaning I do before they arrive, so I am not embarrassed by how much dog hair is all over the house (hey, they’re huskies and it’s shedding season, no judging), followed by a second wave of cleaning and laundry after they leave. It’s a great time to take stock of what you have, what items you need to purge, and what other items you don’t have and may need in the future. When I was renting and moving every 2-3 years, the purging was a natural process. After you move several times you realize things like all of your college text books, that you swore you’d use again at some point, aren’t worth moving to the next place. However, I’ve noticed that when I buy a home and settle in, I tend to gather and collect more things as opposed to purging them. The process of spring cleaning is not just about getting the grime off your windows, but about making space in your home as well, getting rid of clutter and things you don’t use.
I am grateful that my family does not have high expectations for their visits, they don’t expect to be catered to and they appreciate every little thing that I plan while they are here (plus all the chauffeuring I do)! When they are here, they do laundry and dishes and help where they can. They’re ok with homemade meals, air mattresses, and rowdy dogs. What I love most is the fact that when they do visit, its genuinely to spend time with me and that warms my soul.
Oftentimes familial relationships are complex, difficult, and for some people traumatic. For my family I would describe us a lovingly complicated. We each had roles we played growing up and I think we’ve all tried to outgrow those roles as adults, however whenever we are together as a group the dynamics put us right back into our childhood. It surprises me that my siblings, who I remember as irresponsible trouble makers (LOL), are the ones with children. I’ve enjoyed watching how much they’ve grown as adults and parents. They are great parents with amazing kiddos and I’m happy to be their aunt! There were many wonderful memories from this visit, however the one that I will remember most is my nephew, coming in for a second hug goodbye at the airport, and whispering that he was going to miss me.
Reflect on a time you opened your home to friends or family and had a great visit (or if you went to stay with family or friends). What stood out to you? What memories did you make? What, if anything, surprised you about your visit? Take a moment to journal on your visit, notice what emotions come up for you. If it’s been a while since you’ve seen special friends and family, what steps can you take to close the gap and schedule a visit? If you’re up for sharing your experience, join us on Facebook!
